Crapplications: Part 1

crapappsNote from the Editor: Introducing Guest Writer Chris Sewell (@csewell08). Chris will be joining us for a series of rants on applications he considers “crap.” We hope you enjoy his comedic stance on what it means to lack quality.

There are a lot of great applications that have been developed over the past year for the Android platform that allow our phones to perform tasks that make our lives easier. Sometimes these apps implement a bit of amusement into our daily activities, as well. Blogs write reviews about these applications all of the time, citing the Pros and Cons of each application and giving a personal opinion as to just how handy the application really is. However, not too many people take the time to point out the applications that are not exactly up to the standard that has been set by Android users.

For my first example, let’s take the application “Droid Text N’ Walk.” In my opinion, this is a horrible idea, as well as a ridiculous price for such a horrible idea. Unfortunately, it is not entirely the developer’s fault that this application is such a failure in my mind. The application is described as: “Droid Text N’ Walk overlays a text composition window on top of the view from your hand held device camera so you can text and watch where you’re going!” Thats right people, this application allows you to walk and not take your eyes off of your phone. The main problem I have with this application is that I’m positive that there are idiots out there that are dumb enough to walk straight into a pole, or worse, cross a street while texting. While this will definitely speed natural selection up considerably, I don’t want someone to run into me and knock my scalding hot morning coffee all over the front of me and say: “Oh… sorry man… didn’t see you on my camera! When I text my camera isn’t usually pointed at a 90 degree angle to the walkway.” Alright, thats a bit far fetched, maybe. No one dumb enough to use this application would understand why they just ran into me and would probably look upon my coffee-drenched-shirt as if I was in the wrong.

You may be thinking “But Chris, I’m good enough at texting while I walk that I wouldn’t walk into you!” Thats fine, good for you. But I will enjoy four times the battery life due to my camera not consistently running while I’m powering through a rant about the future Darwin Award winner who just knocked my much needed morning coffee all down the front of my shirt and pants.

Take all of this into consideration when you look at the $3.99 price tag associated with this application. Hopefully, you agree with others who have rated this application 1 star in the market.

Have you downloaded a application that could be nominated as Crapplication of the Century? Leave a comment about it below.

Thanks to c0z for inspiring this rant. I hope to see others speak up about their experiences with similar applications.

***This is for comedic purposes and is not intended to alienate AndroidGuys or its writers from any specific brand, company, or developer. We simply want this to be a wake up call for those who need to spend more time on their apps before releasing them into the wild.
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In addition to smartphones and mobile gadgets, Scott has a deep appreciation for film, music, and sunflower seeds. A husband and father, he likes spending down time riding his mountain bike or binge-watching TV. Scott has overseen the day-to-day activities of AndroidGuys since 2007.
  • lordhong

    Droid Text N’ Walk is a niche idea. It came from an iPhone app initially.

    The fact that you don't like it does not necessarily mean others don't either.

    I thought the crapplications includes fart apps, noise apps, or one click app that launches you into the website. Droid Text N’ Walk does have a good thinking behind it.

    You could have said the same thing about Google SkyMap. Sorry I bumped into you and spilled ur hot coffee but I was watching the sky and walking across the street…

    • c0z

      Walking and texting is naturally a bad idea. And give him time, he might say the same thing about SkyMap 🙂

    • Csewell08

      I would hope that you wouldnt use SkyMap while walking down the street staring at the sky…simply for the fact that you would look completely ridiculous staring up at the sky with your phone. This also would be more dangerous than looking towards the ground because you would at least have a better chance of avoiding obstacles.

      Droid Text N' Walk and SkyMap shouldnt be compared with each other either. They provide two completely different services. Skymap is intended for you to be standing still while using it unless moving to get a better view of the sky. Droid Text N' Walk is designed for you to walk through various environments while staring at your screen.

      Far apps, noise apps, one click browser apps are also applications im looking to cover in the near future. I understand that you may like the idea behind Droid Text N' Walk, but I personally do not. Your comment mentioning that others may not dislike the application goes both ways. You like the application, I dislike it. Thats the beauty of having an opinion.

      I hope future articles are more to your liking, thank you.

      • *Fart apps

        might as well correct the typo before mike does..

  • mike

    It's SCALDING hot coffee, not SCOLDING hot coffee. I simply want this to be a wake up comment for those who need to spend more time on their blog posts before releasing them into the wild. 🙂

    • c0z

      Actually that would be my error, since I obviously edited this when I was too tired to catch the visual difference between "o" and "a," but your attempt at being funny still fails.

      • DMAGIC448

        The attempt at this artical being funny is an epic fail!!

        • c0z

          You're entitled to an opinion, albeit a terrible one, but still entitled. 😛

        • article

      • Actually, I disagree…I found his comment very funny. That's the beautiful thing about having an opinion.

        Also, just a tip…if the writers of the articles come to the forum and insult people for expressing opposing opinions, the trolls will totally take over. If you're going to post your opinions in public, someone will disagree. If that bothers you, maybe you're in the wrong line of work.

  • jasonb

    Lol @mike
    You read through a few paragraphs to find 1 typo and then complain about it? Thanks for all your hard work buddy…

  • wootroot

    Haha, you got burned by c0z…. 😀

  • I agree with LordHong. Android is all about innovation and creativity, not ripping off the easiest dollar you can possibly come by (i.e. fart apps, themes, soundboards, web front-ends, etc.). If an application is well written and actually possesses real functionality, I wouldn't call it a crapplication.

    • Cool ill make sure to lean more in that direction for the next review, thanks.

  • I'm a fan of people expressing their opinions and of people who have positive comments about other's opinions. What I don't understand is the need for people to use blogs as an outlet to get out angry and negative emotion. If you have something bad to say just be a little more tasteful about it.

  • Phillip M. Shavers


    I am pleased to see that you all have seen or at least heard of my application “Droid Text N Walk”. I do understand that there are some people who despise us Developers and that’s fine. I dont mind the “HATE” honestly I appreciate it because it makes me better as a developer. I too have downloaded my share of BAD applications but never took the time to “HATE” on there creativity! All I ask is for future critics to please keep the “HATE” to yourselves because its people like you who make the Market BORING!

    Phillip M. Shavers

    • Dont hate ya, just the people who dont use it in a manor safe to there own well being, or others. It was more humor than a Roast of you man. Sorry to of offended you.

      Chris Sewell

  • The best title of all time. This should be a column 🙂

  • bbq

    Crap apps? What about crap journalism. AndroidGuys seems to be full of it lately. Hopefully this is the last we hear of Chris Sewage.

  • droidin

    Crappy app is one that doesn't work. I don't care how horrible is the idea but I hate when I install something and first thing it does – it FC on me

  • Yeah there are some pretty crappy apps out there for android and iphone apps heh

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  • I am really inspired by those kind words of yours regarding the applications launched over the years for the smooth functioning and user friendly approach which has actually impressed the lives of the people using these mobiles. I’ve enjoyed reading the post.

  • It is true that it is these applications developed for the platform which have made our lives easier and comfortable. The post is very inspiring, encouraging and promising. I’ve found the post really informative too. thanks.